They are not members of this Church. Divorce can be very stressful for years., Few things in life are as difficult as divorce, Dr. Swinton shares. Meet the Apostles Sam Finley, Duck Football: From One Mission to Another, Eugene Daily News, September 16, 2011, accessed September 16, 2011, http://eugenedailynews.com/2011/09/16/duck-football-from-one-mission-to-another. We as friends, neighbors, ward members, [ministerers], family, etc., should show Christs love. Latter Day Saint practitioners of plural marriage However, it is obvious more needs to be done to answer the questions and concerns of members of all ages. 45. And they forgive.2. Jesus' Marriage to Mary the Magdalene Is Fact The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saintss uncomfortable relationship with its polygamous history is somewhat like an awkward marriage separation. Teenage wives. This and other facts about plural marriage need to be understood by Latter-day Saints, so information and specific detail regarding the theology and practice of plural marriage need to be provided at the appropriate time and place. a link to what.that shows all 12 are married to their spouse??? LDS The reasons for a divorce were many and varied. TRUTH: Scripture shows that God gives permission for divorce. . For examples of people who chose to secretly practice plural marriage while still members of the LDS Church, see Craig L. Foster, The Persistence of Plural Marriage Within Mainstream Mormonism: The Example of the Barr and Mary Musser Family, in Scattering of the Saints: Schism Within Mormonism, eds. If you are divorced, here are some ways to stay close to your children and strong in the gospel. His mother remarried, but Elder Baxter's stepfather was "not a good man" and times were difficult(Elder David S. Baxter, "Finding Hope in a Troubled Family," August 2015 "New Era"). He has also been a columnist for 8+ years in local small papers. He called 12 apostles and gave them all No they can't. Before Elder Dallin H. Oaks was 8 years old, his father passed away from tuberculosis, leaving his mother, Stella H. Oaks, to care for three children on her own. His first plural wife was Fanny Alger in 18351836 as explained by Bradley, Fanny Alger, in The Persistence of Polygamy, 1458. In preparation for this essay, I conducted an unscientific online survey of attitudes about plural marriage among current and former members of the LDS Church. Foster, Like Two Crazy Aunts in the Attic.. These and other negative claims against early Mormon polygamy have caused understandable mental and spiritual turmoil for members. Ironically, Mary Elizabeth Rollins, who was mentioned above, was 16 when she married Adam Lightner, and yet critics have not condemned Lightner for marrying a teenager when he was 25. Plural marriage has proven to be a prime weapon because a little of the truth can be devastating. Steve Chapman, Kody Brown and His Four Wives, townhall.com, July 14, 2011, accessed July 14, 2011, http://townhall.com/columnists/stevechapman/2011/07/14/kody_brown_and_his_four_wives, and Brent Bozell, TLCs Lobbying Show, townhall.com, July 15, 2011, accessed July 15, 2011, http://townhall.com/columnists/brentbozell/2011/07/15/tlcs_lobbying_show/page/full/. The midwestern United States also had a good representation, as did Canada (especially western Canada). [They] could have helped me realize that there is more to being a member of the Church [than] being in a traditional families are forever kind of family., [Acknowledge] me as a person. Scott D. Pierce, More Often Than Not, Big Love Gets it Right, The Salt Lake Tribune, December 28, 2010, accessed April 10, 2014, http://archive.sltrib.com/article.php?id=12564307&itype=storyID. Plural marriage did not start nor end abruptly. I told them I would be glad to answer any question they had. LDS apostles Learn more at joshlockhart.blogspot.ca. By the time he was 22 years old, Elder Scott had not really considered serving a mission, until he metJeanene Watkins. As she tried to cope with the loss of her sister, Christy Denney found the connection to family she was craving in an unusual placea cherry cheese pie. . Elder DallinH. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said, There are many good Church members who have been divorced and reiterated that unless a divorced member has committed serious transgressions, he or she can become eligible for a temple recommend under the same worthiness standards that apply to other members.3, Some men say that although they would never want to go through such an experience again, they have learned from it. This book, which will help couples contemplating divorce and men and women who are working through divorce, offers guidance, ideas, comfort and gospel perspective for those struggling through the painful experience of divorce. Ok, just confirmed. . Polygamy. After that, the practice again went underground and was once more surrounded by a veil of secrecy which made it even more difficult to completely stop.5, Unfortunately, the obfuscation which attended the beginning and end of the official practice of plural marriagenecessary though it wasprovided ammunition for anti-Mormons and anxiety for modern Church members. I tried to understand that they just didn't know how to deal with a situation like this., Divorce may be more taboo for many, explains Dr. Swinton. No, Divorce currently disqualifies a man from becoming a Bishop, Stake President, Seventy, Apostle or Prophet. It says: "Effective immediately, a man who has been previously sealed and later divorced, who desires to be married and sealed in the temple must first obtain a clearance from the First Presi-den-cy. Given the lack of available information from official sources, it isnt surprising that members like this woman would believe Brigham Young was the prophet who introduced plural marriage. Temples are some of the most beautiful places on earth, but the work that takes place inside of them is what makes them sacred. Plural marriage was introduced to Church members by the Prophet Joseph Smith in the 1840s as a commandment from God and continued as doctrine and an official practice until 1890.1 Official Church support for plural marriage ended [Page 46]after the Manifesto, and many members have come to see this change as the final end of plural marriage. The LDS Church leadership already does a very good job of listening to and trying to address the needs of its members. Some men have said that nothing shook their testimonies like divorce. They interpret this lack of information as a species of lyingabout Joseph Smith, about other Church members polygamous past, or about the events which surrounded the cessation of Church-sanctioned plural marriage. I would think not.60, Not surprisingly, the ambivalence among even active, faithful Latter-day Saints regarding plural marriage continues. Bill Frost, Idaho Bans Ogdens Five Wives Vodka, City Weekly, May 29, 2013, accessed January 20, 2014, http://www.cityweekly.net/utah/blog-21-7669-idaho-bans-ogdens-five-wives-vodka.html. Bill Redeker, Beer Maker Finds Polygamy Ads Sell, Good Morning America, February 8, 2011, accessed February 10, 2011, http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=126371&page=1. As for the OP. "The train stopped, my mother went out and tried to get food," President Uchtdorf told KUTV. If this is the only thing that is causing all this polygamy angst why not just accept that it is NOT a requirement to have multiple wives in heaven and let it go at that? The Manifesto and the End of Plural Marriage With every separation or divorce comes uncomfortable reminders of former relatives. Was the Apostle Paul married? And, later, the priesthood/Relief Society lesson about Doctrine and Covenants section 132 discussed celestial marriage but did not mention plural marriage. No matter how hard the LDS Church may try to cut ties to its polygamous past, the two are irrevocably and inseparably tied to each other. The Church, of course, has no jurisdiction whatever in this matter.26, LDS Apostle M. Russell Ballard stated in a Semiannual General Conference session, Let me state clearly that no polygamist group, including those calling themselves Fundamentalist Mormons or other derivatives of our name, have any affiliation whatsoever with The Church of Jesus Christ [Page 56]of Latter-day Saints.27 LDS Apostle Jeffrey R. Holland was even more outspoken in referencing the fundamentalists, We havent practiced polygamy for over a centuryand its a little frustrating to have these fundamentalist groups resurface.28, Discomfort about the Churchs polygamous past is particularly noticeable in Church-produced literature and at Church-owned historical sites. President Uchtdorf's family fled their home in Zwickau in East Germany to Frankfurtin West Germany. He married his wife,Dianne Marie Lewars, and has four children. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Most of these people, however, are just trying to find a way to react to something that is so contrary to accepted marriage patterns. The depth of dismay occurs in part because of the negative publicity attending Warren Jeffss marriages to under-aged brides as well as modernitys changed concept of childhood and adulthood. It is human nature, explained one Mormon blogger, to choose aspects of our past that we feel define us. One woman got an angry look on her face and exclaimed, He did not! Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. No one is entirely immune to difficult family situations like these, including the general authorities of the Church. "We always talk about fathers blessing their children and performing the ordinances, and those are wonderful experiences. Polygamy in the Spotlight, e-mail correspondence, July 14, 2011. But this experience also had a profound effect on Elder Cook and "any doubts he had were swept away forever.". If you worry that being supportive somehow condones something you don't approve of, remember that showing love does not mean you are condoning something. LDS I believe there is a strong case that he once was, and my conclusion comes from Pauls words in 1 Corinthians 7:8-9. 16. The Church and its defenders have begun to take steps to inoculate members against the insidious attacks of critics and enemies. WebIn the end, they found that 7% of LDS members who had originally had a temple marriage were either now divorced or divorced and remarried. 18. That would be incorrect, divorced men can be bishops. A few reasons suggest themselves: first, while 19th-century polygamy happened, it is, after all, in the past. But heres a fact you need to know: children can be sealed to only two parents. He works as a Mental Health Clinician for Ktunaxa/Kinbasket Child & Family Services, and as needed for LDS Family Services in the East Kootenay's. I think that is a fantastic way for it to be done. WebA civil marriage first is God's will, and was specified as a requirement in the original Doctrine and Covenants. Valerie Hudson, A Reconciliation of Polygamy, presentation at the 2011 FAIR Conference, notes in possession of author. . Josh Lockhart is a husband, father of two, and a Canadian Certified Counsellor based out of Kimberley, BC, Canada. I can't imagine a Seventy giving instruction that was inconsistent with Church policy. How do I forgive them? [Page 74]. There were also several who identified themselves as fundamentalist Mormons of former LDS membership. In spite of their migration out of the mainstream Church, discomfort within the Church persisted and intensified over time. There was not, however, any mention of Brigham Youngs plural marriages. Such shock at the prospect that Joseph Smith would have practiced plural marriage reminds me of an experience I had almost thirty years ago. Your Feelings About Mormon Polygamy.. He served as the last administrator of the Aaronic Priesthood prior to the restoration of the Melchizedek Priesthood when Jesus Christ came. For example, television talk show host Bill Maher explained that Mormonism is a religion founded on the idea of polygamy. All but one of the contributing authors can speak from personal experience about divorce. In fact, some have left the Church specifically because of this issue. Throughout his childhood, Elder Bednar would ask his father several times a week why he was not baptized. Your Feelings About Mormon Polygamy.. for Time and for All Eternity in Doctrine and Covenants and Church History: Gospel Doctrine Teachers Manual, accessed February 14, 2014, https://churchofjesuschrist.org/manual/doctrine-and-covenants-and-Church-history-gospel-doctrine-teachers-manual/lesson-31-sealedfor-time-and-for-all-eternity?lang=eng. Copy in authors possession. .I apologize. Jeffs, in a way, is practicing what Joseph practiced. In fact, most of the literature discussing these marriages suggests Joseph had sexual relations with these women, usually without the cuckold husbands knowledge.9. These are truly touching and delicate experiences that members of the Church endured as they divorced. For examples of numerous press releases and public statements regarding past and modern plural marriage, see The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Newsroom: The Official Resource for News Media, Opinion Leaders and the Public, http://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/search-results.xqy?q=polygamy&x=0&y=0. Others believe they were released because they were now a bad example, or because local church leaders didnt want a divorced person in that role. Yet when he observed Elder Scott and his wife, he noticed they seemed to have a sense of peace that he did not. About 78.7% of Muslim divorcees are women; for Hindus, this figure is . That means the majority of adult Latter-day Saints both women and men are unmarried, widowed or divorced. apostle Gerrit Gong said Saturday morning. The Polygamy Porter T-shirts are our best seller, the owner explained. If someone believe[s] differently is it really worth getting upset over and offended? Divine Attributes of Jesus Christ: Meek and Humble, Catching the Vision: All Missions Bring Souls to Christ, Lighting Our Childrens Path with Gospel Standards, Teaching Gospel Standards: One Familys Experience, The Proclamation on the Family: Transcending the Cultural Confusion, Josephine Booth: Sister Missionary to Scotland, Oral Family History Fades in Just Three Generations, He Taught Me the Heavenly Order of Eternity, Latter-day Saint Men and Divorce, Ensign, August 2015, 5861. Copy in authors possession. This brings up another matter that needs to be addressed: missionaries at Church historical sites must be taught how to discuss the topic of Mormon polygamy because it is inevitable it will be brought up by curious visitors. The First Presidency sent a letter last week to stake presidents, bishops and branch presidents advising them of the new policy.The brief letter, dated Feb. 3, was titled "Divorce Clearance Procedure." 12. When he was 15 years old, Elder Baxter says he looked back on the challenges his family faced in his younger yearsalcoholism, divorce, povertyall of the things he couldn't change in his past and decided, "I will change the futurefor myself and for the children I will someday have. For that matter, it may not even be as important to Saints residing in the eastern parts of Canada and the United States as it is to those residing in the western United States. I don't know if divorced men can be branch presidents though. 11. Media Library. 9. The place is easya Church setting in which accurate information may be taught in programs such as Primary, Sunday School, and Seminary. Their third child, a baby girl, passed away at birth and their second child, a two-year-old boy, died six weeks later following a surgery to correct a congenital heart defect. This is, in part, because of the fitful, painful cessation of plural marriage and the ever present reminders of its complicated past. I became a pariah. Indeed, in the minds of [Page 75]many people, 19th-century Mormon polygamy defines western polygamy.69 Accepting that the twain are inseparable does not mean the Church must acquiesce to the negative stereotyping used by its critics. If the Lord chooses a divorced man to be bishop, that man will be bishop. It isnt surprising that modern members are ignorant of Mormon plural marriage and the context in which it was practiced, since the LDS Church has, in many ways, downplayed and even ignored its own history. Perhaps no single issue provokes power struggles more than child custody. Death, war, financial insecurity, divorce, Church inactivity, there are many circumstances that can shake a family to its core and try each family member's The mother said she divorced her husband, who later re-married. Foster, Like Two Crazy Aunts in the Attic.. WebRulon Jeffs was a leader of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. No they can't. Its in the handbook. I don't know if divorced men can be branch presidents though.applepansy Separated but not Divorced: The LDS Churchs Uncomfortable Relationship with its Polygamous Past, Complexities in the English Language of the Book of Mormon 2015, http://www.fairlds.org/FAIR_Conferences/2003_Unchanging_Ways_of_Anti-Mormons.html, http://en.fairmormon.org/Joseph_Smith/Polygamy/Polyandry, http://en.fairmormon.org/Joseph_Smith/Polygamy/Marriages_to_young_women, http://archive.sltrib.com/article.php?id=12564307&itype=storyID, http://townhall.com/columnists/stevechapman/2011/07/14/kody_brown_and_his_four_wives, http://www.christianpost.com/news/will-same-sex-marriage-lead-to-legalized-polygamy-57640/, http://www.patheos.com/blogs/getreligion/2011/12/picturing-polygamists/, https://www.deseret.com/2011/10/20/20224517/sarandon-calls-pope-a-nazi-maher-calls-mormonism-ridiculous, http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/52568348-78/mormon-mormons-polygamy-percent.html.csp, http://www.fairmormon.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/2010-Craig-Foster.pdf, http://eugenedailynews.com/2011/09/16/duck-football-from-one-mission-to-another, http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=126371&page=1, http://www.cityweekly.net/utah/blog-21-7669-idaho-bans-ogdens-five-wives-vodka.html, https://churchofjesuschrist.org/topics/plural-marriage-and-families-in-early-utah?lang=eng, https://churchofjesuschrist.org/general-conference/2011/10/the-importance-of-a-name?lang=eng, http://www.abc.net.au/foreign/content/2011/s3342583.htm, https://churchofjesuschrist.org/manual/doctrine-and-covenants-and-Church-history-gospel-doctrine-teachers-manual/lesson-31-sealedfor-time-and-for-all-eternity?lang=eng, https://www.deseret.com/2011/8/6/20208124/recent-events-highlight-confusion-of-polygamy, http://www.fairmormon.org/perspectives/fair-conferences/2011-fair-conference/2011-a-reconciliation-of-polygamy, http://squaretwo.org/Sq2ArticleCasslerPolygamy.html, http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2010/10/25/sister-wives-explained-a-fundamentalist-mormon-polygamy-primer/, http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/darwin-eternity/201108/are-people-naturally-polygamous-0, http://www.economist.com/blogs/democracyinamerica/2013/06/slippery-slopes, Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. [Page 71]. He was not the actual bishop but was in the bishopric. Family Life Copy in authors possession. have any lds apostles been divorced Fortunately, most former spouses learn to cooperate for the benefit of their children. 41. I for one will be getting a civil marriage first, not because of lack of faith or what have you but because it is what God has ordained. WebMy Home Donations Temple Appointments Leader and Clerk Resources Missionary Portal Ward Directory and Map Calendar Meetinghouse Locator Notes Patriarchal Blessing All Tools. Her comparisons troubled, even angered, some conference attendees. Divorce disqualifies a Priesthood holder from even being a Bishop, let alone a General Authority. She surely was one of the many noble women who have lived in the latter days (Elder Dallin H. Oaks, "What are Prophets and Apostles: Elder Dallin H. Oaks,"lds.org). 6. Lets dive into the New Testament and see what we can learn about the efforts of the original apostles to maintain a full quorum. There should, then, be a better historical and doctrinal explanation of plural marriage in adult Gospel Doctrine classes. It is within this milieu of multifarious information and misinformation that modern members of the Church are placed. FinancialSpecial5787 1 yr. ago. In like manner, we hide or diminish those things that embarrass us. One of those things is Joseph Smiths practice of polygamy because it seems that his polygamy is only in the picture when were called upon to defend him.23 Such an approach is not confined solely to individuals. And while such issues might be of little interest in one stake or ward, members in a neighboring stake or ward might be very interested or have a need for further teaching and explanation. Thirty-five percent of the sample (includes all religious affiliations) who had originally married civilly were either currently divorced or remarried. Gains have been made since the days I observed palpable discomfort in missionaries and volunteers. 36. As the discussion grew heated, one group member observed in a private e-mail to another, Most of those who did not agree with the reinterpretation of whether or not plural marriagewill be practiced in the Celestial Kingdomhave been hammered into submissive silence by louder voices and the powers that be.59 Near the end of the online discussion, one of the men answered a woman who adamantly expressed her belief that plural marriage would not be a requirement or even a possibility in the celestial kingdom. 56. But unfortunately, this would not be the last time President Uchtdorf's family would have to leave behind everything. There were approximately 400 people who participated in the survey with an almost even mix of men and women.32, In spite of the limited number of respondents, there actually was a good variety of people from different ages and backgrounds in terms of marriage status and activity in the LDS Church. Not everyone grows up in an "ideal" family situation. However, LDS members can only have one living, legal spouse while on earth. When a couple legally divorce, the temple marriage/sealing is effectively nullified, because the couple is no longer together and do not wish to be. 13. Whether or not the particular suggestions in this essay are adopted, the goal of leaders and defenders of the Church should be to aim for a more knowledgeable membership who thereby exhibit less discomfort and embarrassment about the Churchs past relationship to plural marriage. E-mail correspondence between [anonymous] and Craig L. Foster, August 14, 2011. The confusion and conflict began with the secrecy and prevarication of Joseph Smith when he revealed plural marriage to a trusted circle of the Nauvoo elite.4 Plural marriage was not openly practiced until after the Saints left Illinois and were safely ensconced in the Great Basin of the western United States. Since few anticipate plural marriages return, and even fewer hope for it, the estranged partners are not getting back together. There are thousands of fundamentalist Mormons throughout the Intermountain West who are a constant reminder of Mormonisms polygamist past. Joseph engaged in one plural marriage with Fanny Alger in the 1830s. Excommunication in Mormonism For more information showing Josephs Smiths marriages to teenage wives were not out of the cultural and social norm of his time, see Joseph Smith/Polygamy/Marriages to Young Women, FairMormon Answers, accessed February 22, 2014, http://en.fairmormon.org/Joseph_Smith/Polygamy/Marriages_to_young_women. 29. During a conversation regarding Mormon history, I mentioned in passing that Joseph Smith had plural wives. That some are now agreeingon message boardsthat polygamy is something that will NOT be present in the post [mortal] world in any form, by any couple? What applepansy said. Unfortunately, many believe the lack of information in official Church publications about plural marriage is a form of cover-up. [Have] concern for my children, especially Young Men and priesthood leaders. Unfortunately, George D. Smiths Nauvoo Polygamy appears to not only accept the idea that Joseph Smith was sexually involved with these women because parts of the book are reminiscent in language and imagery of early anti-Mormon exposs. He did, however, not require any other members to practice the doctrine until the Nauvoo period. ), 63% continued going to church in the same ward, 16% continued going but went to a new ward, Many ward members avoided me like the plague because they simply didn't know what to say to me. Copyright 2023 Deseret News Publishing Company.
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